Ladies and Airsoft

[Ricochet]

Don't have, had.

Imagine knowing someone for years and years. Good player, solid individual, nice family; then his wife starts playing and he changes. He can't handle when she gets hurt, he can't handle when she excels past him, etc.

Another couple played with us for years (both of them). Really nice people, played well together, good sports, then she nails someone else on the team. Now they and the other individual stop coming out because they might have to see each other, everyones is picking sides, and on, and on, and on.

I assure you, this decision wasn't made lightly; and I hope no one else has to make the same. These are people friends and have been for years. We know their kids, we know go on trips together, we are family.

These are just a few examples. Airsoft in itself is not necessarily the cause, but possibly a catalyst. Couples have a strong relationship or connection. You can't just stop worrying about finances, your kids, your marriage, or whatever just because your playing airsoft. Every couple has their ups and downs. Sometimes; it spills over and effects the team. These where or are all good people. They made their mistakes and that's sad, but we've found it's couples that are a large negative x-factor. That doesn't mean that'll always be the case, it's just easier not to take the chance anymore. This was also not some decision I just came up with; it was a consensus among many long standing team members after careful consideration and years of airsoft together.

Let me ask a question. Let's say you play regularly with a close group of friends. In between games someone says or does something to you that is upsetting. Maybe that person just made a mistake, or screwed up; it happens. So even though your angry you give them a talking to or explain your frustration; but it doesn't become a big deal. Maybe they tea-bagged you, maybe they shot you in the ass, maybe they called you an inappropriate name (something racial, or derogatory), or maybe they carelessly shot you in the face leaving marks or drawing a little blood. This person is your friend and didn't mean anything by it, but shit happens. Now instead, same situation; but they did it to your wife right in front of you. What if she's in tears, upset, or uncomfortable now. Maybe not; maybe she's handling it well. But the husband/boyfriend is always more upset than if it happened to him, and often steps in to fight her battle; it's a natural state of things. Maybe he doesn't, but it stews in his head, and he's always now annoyed by that person. Or he does make a big deal about it and now the rest of the team lament her prescence because they have to watch themselves all the time or he might be upset.

I can remember a time when buddies girl got shot in the face (hit her in the safety glasses, didn't hurt, nor leave a mark). The individual apologized to her, and she accepted; no harm done. Later her "man" decided to make a big deal about it. I can tell you after years if playing with him that if he'd have been shot in the face and it knocked one of his teeth out; he'd have said, "oh well, risks of the sport. Shit happens, don't worry about it.".

This isn't all couples; and these are stable people with good families. Some obviously were not "reliable". But it was just a constant, and now we don't have those issues ...in years ...go figure.

[DBspotter]

Originally Posted by BrendanL

Hi everyone,

This is one of my first times posting here, I usually just read and enjoy. Lately my girlfriend has been bugging me to come play airsoft.

I was wondering if anyone out there who would have some tips for getting her started? More or less the gear side of things and possibly some newbie friendly games in the Toronto area.

Few more things,

- Would an MP5 style AEG be something appropriate for her to start with?
- Vests that fit well for ladies? ( she is concerned about her breasts being protected )
- A field ladies frequent?
- She is a little concerned with it being a mostly male sport and standing out
- Her size is 5'9 110 pounds ( if that helps )

These are just concerns off the top of my head. If I could get some input from any girls here who play, or males who have taken their girlfriends into the adventure of airsoft.

ANY help would be appreciated, thanks ASC.

Currently we have two girls that are full time players on our team and we have another two that are occasional players. The girls on our team keep up with the guys 100% of the time and we treat them just like the rest of the guys. All the girls that play with our group came into the game by their own accord, and we do our best as a group to welcome them into the sport just as we would anyone else.

That being said, BrendanL if you and your girlfriend are interested in playing with a very female friendly group then feel free to PM me. Your girlfriend may feel more comfortable starting out if there are other girls there, that are just as into it as the guys.

Dave

[BrendanL]

I just want to thank everyone who posted some answers, this thread has been great help to her and soon she'll be gearing up and playing in no time!

[BennyBoy]

lots of women at finches last time i was there, one with m14 dmr, another with mp5 and some tall one that left early....
want to get my wife into it but she's the biggest 110lb wimp ever, she'd probably put a handle on back of my vest and use me as a human shield...

g36 mags are retarded so probably not a gun i would recommend
KAC PDW ALL THE WAY! sexy little buggers...my wife accidentally threw out one of my rifles recently....crappy javem24 i bought for 100 bucks, now i can have another rifle of my choice! SCORE! KAC PDW! Come to Papa!

[Gunk]

Originally Posted by Ricochet

Stuff.

Actually... to forget and not worry about school, finances, etc. is exactly why I go play Airsoft. So I don't have to think about it for a day.

As for the other stuff... if they can't watch someone take a shot to the face without losing it, they probably shouldn't be on the field to begin with. Everything you just mentioned was indicative of some instability man.

Let's take that same couple to a baseball game... the wife/girlfriend get's thrown out at first base, it's a close call, I posit the guy who freaks out when his girlfriend gets a shot to the nose is probably going to start shouting at the umpire who made a close call that the boyfriend doesn't agree with. I wouldn't want that person at a game I'm at, full stop. Whether is girlfriend exists or is there shouldn't matter. That level of maturity is below what I feel is required to attend an Airsoft game.

Basically, you've demonstrated the type of mentality that should not be permitted to come and play, and it has nothing to do with having a significant other. I've seen boyfriends/girlfriends/fathers/mothers come out and watch their partners or kids get shot, even bleed, and you know what, no one's freaked out. Usually people apologise for taking a shot they shouldn't have, and everyone continues on having a happy day.

You've just got some bad eggs. It has nothing to do with partners. Invite those people back out, and watch the same people freak out over something else. 10 bucks says it'll happen.

[Ricochet]

I'm not arguing the point, I'm telling you my observations. These things did happened, they happened several times, involving several different people; but now they won't happen again. This was over a decade, not a year or two. We've had bad eggs for sure, and it won't be the last time. We don't long tolerate unstable individuals. Maybe we've had bad luck in that regard, who knows. I can tell you that not every one of them was a "bad egg"; Sometimes shit happens. I guess I should state that this isn't a strictly "for fun" group. We don't pay to play; we have a private team on a private field. We have a strict 18 and up age restriction, strict gear restrictions, strict rules, etc. Don't get me wrong; we have a blast, but there is no "giggling" on the field. Perhaps our atmosphere isn't conducive to couples; and that's why it hasn't worked out.

Anyways, I understand why people can't grasp the concept; but really, you'd have to have been here and seen it to believe some of it. I'll say it again though; we've all been doing this for a long time, and we were all happy with the decision.

I can tell you we aren't the only group/team that has had these or similar issues; or taken action. I know of groups that stopped recruiting anymore players whatsoever due to problems. I know teams that will only recruit within a certain age range "essentially".

[L473ncy]

I'm with Ricochet on this one. This is a proactive stance instead of a reactive one and taking a proactive step to prevent these kinds of incidents is the right thing to do.

I would love to take my girlfriend out to play with me but probably not with those guys. Not because they'd hit on her or anything but IMO the game dynamics aren't conductive to couples. Even though I'm not generally a totally overly protective helicopter boyfriend (really, she can handle things on her own) it doesn't mean that I won't be overly protective if she gets hurt or close to getting hurt.

With MTB, I wouldn't want to see her get hurt but there's really only yourself or equipment failure to blame if you lowside or drop or whatever (and it's usually either yourself overstretching your limits or you not maintaining your equipment leading to failure). With airsoft it's a different dynamic, there's the factor of the other person, yourself, and equipment failure. The last two are alright but add the other person factor into it and you have something that can blow up in your face quite easily because it's easy to blame someone else rather than your own self or equipment failure.

On the other hand however, I would join her to short day skirmishes at some of the other "for fun" clubs/groups.

Also @ Ricochet: I don't know if you heard, but I went out to play last week and I'm now "medium nip" in the Swat-21 group

[Ricochet]

It's good to see you back. I'm sure ACT-21 would let your girlfriend come out if you liked. Especially if your "joining" their group. Then when they visit us, you and your GF can come play and are not "breaking" our rules, lol. You are however more than welcome to join us of course. As for the nick name, that's what happens when you play with rednecks; what can I say. That whole extremely rough around the edges thing, maybe that's why couples don't work out on our field, lol. The last girl we had who played on a regular basis use to say things that would make a sailor blush.

[MaciekA]

Originally Posted by Ricochet

It's not usually the girl that has issues with this stuff, it's her boyfriend/husband. Which is why, after several failed attempts; we no longer allow couples on the field.

This is an extremely bizarre rule. Couples are an extremely common vector through which women appear on our fields, if not the dominant one. You're throwing out the baby with the bath water.

[Deadpool]

What some people here don't seem to understand is that is not a field or game rule, it's a team rule. They can play with their spouse, just not be both part of the team. From what I understand.

[SuperHog]

This is airsoft and people shoot at the opposite team for elimination. When I shoot, I target for the largest area which is the body and best chance of a hit at long distances. I try to avoid the head, because no one likes to be shot in the head. Also if I target for the body, I now have to avoid the breast area that's provided I know it is a girl I am shooting at. Do I go for the butt?

If she is worry about her breasts, then have her wear a plate carrier. She also be better be wearing full face protection.

I don't distinguish between male or female when I pull the trigger. If the player is female and wants to be treated as a female then the female player should wear some clothing to identify that she is female or use a pink gun.

I have seen girls shoot guys multiple times. Do girls treat guys any different in an airsoft game?

The big question here.... Does your girl friend want to be treated as a girl or one of the guys playing a airsoft game?

[Ricochet]

Originally Posted by Deadpool

What some people here don't seem to understand is that is not a field or game rule, it's a team rule. They can play with their spouse, just not be both part of the team. From what I understand.

Essentially that's exactly right. We will share the field with couples who belong to other groups/teams. When a visiting team comes to play we don't ban them from playing. It's strictly an internal thing that works best for us.

[Metalsynth]

This topic needs more estrogen input, must be machimo reaction like "ugah ugah woman do this" etc..

[lurkingknight]

you know I can understand being protective about your partner, you're worried about their safety, that's great, but these guys who get OVERprotective or decide they need to pull out their dick because they think their partner has been wronged in some way as part of the game are the problem, and I would say isolated incidents because not every couple will behave this way.

Getting shot is part of the game, just like you don't sign up for a kickboxing class/group expecting not to be punched. If there is malicious intent behind the action, then yes, by all means take appropriate action against the offender or the person being a douche. I just don't get why these guys have to be dumbasses about it. If you didn't explain the risks to your partner or if they didn't understand, who's at fault when the point of it is to shoot people and get shot? Headshots can and will happen, even when people do their best to avoid it, but if that's all the target you give, that's all the target that gets shot at. Hell I got shot in my last 2 games in the face more than I've been shot in the entirety of the last year.

But since it's your team you're talking about and it was a team decision, then that's your prerogative, and I got no issue with that. The team lives and dies by the strength and weaknesses of the individual members, and you're looking out for the well being of the whole.

[archer 6]

Lol, there in a nutshell the downside of trying to be to legit, egos get involved and what is a hobby turns out to be drama. Take a step back and look in the mirrior were old people playing with bb guns. The minute you start beliving your own bullshit... your lost.